Just Random Thoughts By A Random Person

Painted Rahsaan

2011-07-08T11:13:00.001-07:00

Messing around with PS :-)

Translating

2011-07-07T12:58:00.001-07:00

This is how I feel right now about translating! Damn you! lol, hopefully will be done here soon!

Tsunami

2011-05-09T09:42:00.000-07:00

I'm a little upset that I didn't post this dream earlier cause I remembered so many details, but now I'll just write about what I do can remember.

So I remember we were walking down a dirt hill, I was with a guy, I kind of remember Kevin Miller for some reason (an old co-worker of mine). Anyway, he was telling me how that hill was haunted by some old man. And as he was talking about that we noticed there was a kid in front of us walking down the hill, bouncing a basketball, he would then pass it to the left and the ball would bounce a few times and then get passed back to the kid. Weird I know lol. I remember that freaked me out! I was like DID YOU SEE THAT!! OMG your right it is haunted!!

Then next thing I remember the ground started shaking, and then I was with my kids we were running up a hill to get away from the water that was rising, Danny as he would in real life was saying it's ok, you can stay here we will be fine, I course didn't listen to him and took the kids and ran higher up on the hill. There was this big antenna so I started to tell the kids to climb to the top of that. I don't know that they would of been safe there hahaha but it's my dream dammit and I dream what I want too ok! :-) Soooo they began to climb and I did too, and then Danny and lost of others were not there anymore. Whoops guess it was not that safe after all huh? lol. So anyway, this is all I can remember. Next time I will post them right away so I don't forget details, cause those are fun. :-)

Thank God it was only a nightmare

2011-05-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

So I had one of those crazy dreams the other night. But this dream was one that made me wake up almost hyperventilating, I was breathing heavy and woke up all freaked out!

So it started at Livemercial but course it was not actually LM it was an office downtown some big city in a huge building. Anyway, Dee Dee was in my dream too. I was walking with her going around saying goodbye to everyone. My son and daughter for some reason were with me. As we started going around, the kids walked away from me. I just figured they were going by someone. So we kept going around for awhile.

Then finally I noticed they were not around, and I began to freak out! I stared to ask everyone around if they had seen them and no one had. I walked outside the building and it was like freaking New York City, people walking all over, crowds and crowds of ppl. I FREAKED OUT! I told myself I'm never going to find them! I started to run around like a nut looking for them, calling people who I thought were with them. No one knew anything about them. I looked and looked then for some reason I seemed to have given up, I was crying, scared, just freaking out, I go home. Who do I find at home? My kids!! Yesin is getting something to eat, Jr is watching t.v. I asked her how they got home, she said, well we went to the train station, we looked at all of the trains, and we got on the one we recognized and read the signs. I then went say something and woke up! Breathing all hard and loud! lmao! I think I was going to say something bad or catching my breath to yell at them, but woke up right before that. :-) Lucky them! But it was such a scary dream, felts so real and I'm so glad it wasn't!!

My daily dose of distraction

2011-04-27T07:25:00.000-07:00

I started doing this with Nichole, Rahsaan at Livemercial but seemed hard to keep up so I stopped and now. I'm trying to keep doing it on a daily basis :-) We'll see how it goes. I can't believe I took some of these shots lol.

Daily Mugshot

What a crazy dream!

2011-03-31T09:04:00.001-07:00

I had a bad and weird dream last night, I had not had a dream like that in awhile so I want to share it. It of course makes no sense like all dreams and is all over the place but just was weird and woke me up and I couldn't go back to sleep. These are the things I remember from my dream.

I was at work, I was working on the computer, my boss was there, it was my office then suddenly I'm standing at "work" but it's a restaurant and guess who stops by? Uhuh the one and only Chef Gordan Ramsay!!

He was with someone else apparently famous lol. So anyway he wants this yummy strawberry type margarita, it was a specific one, all I can remember is like pudding or yogart, idk lol. So I freak out cause I'm like we don't have a blender here, we don't even have strawberries lol. Next thing you know taadaa! My bosses wife is here, looking through a huge walk in cooler for strawberries, I walked in there and said I didn't even know that was there?? lmao! I was so confused and so nervous, even in my dream I had no idea what the hell was going on. I'm a marketing assistant/graphic designer for pete's sake! So Chef Gordon course needless to say was pissed cause we took so long and never brought him his drink, he left and said we suck! So I was worried about my job, and there I was back at my computer doing what I actually do. My boss is still there, oh and look there is a bed next to my computer and my boss is now passed out sleeping in it! I'm soooooo tired, I can't keep my eyes open, so I lay on the edge of the bed and try to fall asleep. But hello!! It's my boss and I'm suppose to be working!! So I can't fall asleep, I keep closing my eyes resting but keep waking up, all the time feeling sooo tired, like I just can't keep my eyes open anymore. Suddenly I get up, look out the window and guess what I see!! Oh yea this is good! lol, I know where this came from too by the way. A freaking humongous ship in the sky!!

Oh yea this thing was huge and all lighted up, just cruising the skies. My jaw dropped and I wanted to wake my boss up to tell him but figured he would fire me if I did, and I just kept saying no one is going to believe me when I tell them. So I desperately searched for my camera, my phone and yea, didn't find either. I was so anxious and furious and just could not believe I was going to miss getting it on video. And then, I woke up. O-o yup, I was so mad so nervous and just mad that I woke up and I just could not fall back asleep. It was a restless night for me last night but the dream is so vivid and I remember all the details, that I figured I share so you guys can make fun of me. :-) Oh yea the boat I believe came into my dream because before we went to bed last night we were watching the tsunami in Japan on Ch 11 and well I saw lots of boats and a huge ship on land. The me being so tired in my dream probably was more of me just being really tired and my body or mind were trying to wake up from this crazy dream but I was just too tired to do it. So anyway, enjoy the craziness of my dream and feel free to leave your mean comments lol :-) I'll just delete them anyway hahaha just kidding. But fo real don't be mean! lol

2nd Day of Being Unemployed

2011-01-18T17:00:00.000-08:00

So this is my second day and well I'm still wanting to do so much all at the same time. I just feel like I will run out of time so I'm trying to do it all at once. Today's day went like this:

7:30 got up worked on resume and got kids off to school
8:30 headed off to Gym
10:00 Left gym and headed to walmart to buy material to cover my dinning room chairs
10:30 went to pick up mom to teach me to using sewing machine to cover my chairs. After that I lost track of time and I was on and off working on my resume while she sewed. I learned the basics and it seems pretty easy! I think I'll be making curtain, hemming cloth and so much from now on! Or I can get a job sewing! (probably not) We finished covering 2 chairs at about 4 or 5 and got all of the other pieces to finish the other 2 for tomorrow. Exited to finally have these chairs covered! These chairs are 14 years old! Its still the first dinning room set Danny and I bought when we first got married. It's in great conditions with the exception of the dirt :-P from having kids. Other then that and working on my resume on and off, oh yea I'm still doing laundry :-( but other then that boring day.

Dinner was boring had some hamburgers that I wanted to get rid of so made those for dinner with some smileys. Tomorrow I will try to make something more exciting. Anyway here is a pic of my chairs before and my chairs after. What do you think? Not to bad huh? :-)

Vinegar Chicken

2011-01-17T20:39:00.001-08:00

So made the recipe and it was delicious! Definitively making this one again, kids loved it, hubby loved it! I would say add less vinegar then the one it asks for, and I also added bell peppers to it and it was yummie!! Check out the pic! Now what to cook for tomorrow?? Any suggestions?

1st day of being unemployed

2011-01-17T13:15:00.000-08:00

So here I am on my first day of being unemployed. I have worked since I was 15 and have had only 1 year break with my kids when they were little that it's so weird not having to go to work. I know that the one thing I will miss the most from going to work is all of my friends. I was with that company for 4 years and well you all become a little family so it's sad that I won't see them or have them to clown with but I know we will be in touch.

The layoff's were no surprise so maybe that prepared me for what was coming and maybe that's why I don't feel so bad. I think if it was random I would feel really bad. So I have so much I want to do till I find a new job, there are project around the house I want to do, there are website projects I want to work on and I let it all drive me nuts. So today I just started by cleaning my house! I have cleaned all of my upstairs, have been doing laundry all day and have been looking for recipes for what I'm going to make for dinner. I think that is one thing that excites me, it's having the time to cook a new meal every day! Hurray!! Today's meal will be Vinegar Chicken, can't wait to taste the outcome.

And yes that is exactly how I did all of my cleaning just in case you were wondering, just like that image above. lol ;-)

My hubby just keeps telling me not to worry about it and enjoy the time I will be at home, well I am trying but I just can't put the thought of running out of money out of my mind but I will try. :-) I know I should be working on my resume and portfolio site now instead of cleaning my house and doing anything else, but I just need to clear my head, and need a little bit of time off to "relax" and then I will get on all of that. I mean don't get me wrong, my resume is out there and my site, but they both need some work, so sometime this week I will get on that. Right now I need to do a deep clean in my house, drawers, closets, cabinets etc. I will feel I have accomplished something by doing that and then can work in a nice and clean environment. Cause I cannot sit here and try and get stuff done on the computer while my house is a mess NO WAY!

So anyway, first day went fine, hope tomorrow goes better and I get more accomplished.

Oh yea and another thing, I don't hold a grudge on my employer or wish him to hell or any of those crazy things some people wish on him for the layoffs. I really do hope that he does good and that his project takes off and can have a new beginning. And I do hope he can pay those people he owes back, because of all of those people who bitch and cry on that blog, the only ones I feel for are those that never got paid. Because if I were in their shoe's I would be as pissed as they are. So I wish him well and hope it all works out for him. I thank him for the opportunity he gave me and for everything I learned working there, and of-course for meeting all of the great people I met.

Funny as heck reaction from kids first time on Catapult

2010-09-22T18:38:00.000-07:00

It's so hard

2010-06-05T13:42:00.000-07:00

Just got off the phone with my aunt in Mexico who has breast cancer. Its so hard to stay positive and try and be strong for her. It seems so much health and money issues surround my family and some friends, that I can't help sometimes but to silently cry, and feel sad for them. I have always thought of myself as a strong person and I never really have liked to let ppl see me cry or down. It makes me feel weak and helpless. I hate that feeling. But to hear family member after family member suffering from sicknesses and money issues, I can't help it. It brings me down, makes me want to go curl myself into a ball and just cry. I want to help, I want to help them all. Then guilt sets in, am I doing what I can for them? Am I giving what I can? Am I really trying to help? Its too much! I can't, I have to stay strong, keep thinking about my kids, myself and making sure we are all ok, and good and not in the situation that they are in, because if I let that happen then I can't help anyone, not even myself.

How I wish I was rich to help them all from the situations they are in. But I'm far from it. All I can do is pray for them, and do what is within my reach to help them. Uggg I hate this feeling, I have been there before, plenty of times when I was younger, I don't wanna go there every again. I can't, I have my little ones I have to be there for.

Lie lier pants on fire!

2010-05-19T20:24:00.000-07:00

So one thing I really dislike is people who lie! And you have those that are very good liers, I mean they have things to back their lies up, people backing their lies up just the works. Those are good liers that get away with lots of things. And then course you have your bad liers, those people really annoy me, I mean seriously if your going to lie, then at least try to be a good lier not half ass it and be busted and look like a dumb ass, which by the way all types of liers end up doing, looking like dumb asses when they are busted.

The thing I find really sad is when a person whom you thought to be a friend or at least someone you thought you could trust, lies in your face and then gets sooo busted! Wow, I mean, I feel ashamed and embarrassed for them. I know that I have told some white lies here and there, cause I'm only human but nothing severe. Anyway done with my rambling, just wanted to get things out.

Here's my note on liers, you might think that your getting away with something, but sooner or later it will come back and bite you in the ass!

Guess things do have a silver lining

2010-05-12T20:32:00.000-07:00

So lots of my co-workers and friends got let go about a week ago, then today our boss, asks how many extra computers we have, course the answer is lots. Our great IT guy says well enough to set up everyone at home, and our boss says ok, do it! I was like really? Is he serious! *did a dance* and he was like yes do it. So now I have an awesome iMac!! THANK YOU!! So even though there are lots o things that have gone wrong, I guess some of us left are getting something good out of it. I'm happy and will not complain.

Mexico vs Senegal

2010-05-11T21:15:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I went to see the Mexico vs Senegal game at soldier field. We parked a couple of blocks away so we would not get stuck in a parking lot, but seems lots of other people thought the same thing. Anyway, as we walked we began to see lots of die hard fans, the painted faces, the big Mexican flags and hearing all the horns. I saw this cute little girl she was all bundled up and ready to cheer for her team!

Everywhere you turned you could see the red white and green. It was really exciting, but at the same time I was a little nervouse, because you know that you will always have the guys who drink just a little too much and become annoying and well cause some kind of problem. As we made our walk to the parking lot close to the soldier field we saw more and more fans and more and more flags being waved big and small.

As we made our way into the field we got to see Memo Ochoa warming up at least I thought but as I observed more he was just standing around looking and waving at his fans.

Then our Mexico team all came out to warm up. I knew they were coming out not cause I saw them but because of all the cheering that was going on. I saw them once they were all on the field, warming up. Our awesome Mexico team!

I cannot believe how many people were there. I did not think it was going to be that packed, boy was I wrong. We have some die hard fans in Chicago and this proved it. There were over 60,000 fans there! I can't remember the exact number but it was insane! Here is a pic I took of the stadium when the game began. This crowd actually did the wave and it was awesome looking!

I was able to take a pic of when they were celebrating their goal by Medina! I was a little disappointed cause we could of won 3-1 but was happy we won regardless!

I had a blast and enjoyed watching our team win, but looking at how crazy people get I don't think I would like to take my kids to a soccer game till they are about 12. That way I don't worry about them getting trampled on or getting hit by a can of beer, or cup of pop. Anyway, here are more pics I took enjoy!

Dooms Day

2010-05-05T20:46:00.000-07:00

Has been a really long time since I blog anything, but today I feel really sad and the need to let stuff out (no not a fart) just feelings. We had lots of layoffs today and my co-workers that were let go were lots of my friends. I know that it was nothing personal towards them, that it was something that had to be done, but doesn't make it feel any less sad. Its hard because work ppl become your second family, I mean I feel like I spend more time with them then my own actual family. Crazy but true. Regardless I know that each one of them has gained great experience, enough to go out there and get great jobs and be awesome at them.

Things happen for a reason and I am a great believer in this. Just not looking forward to walking into the office tomorrow morning and looking at all the empty desks, knowing that no one will be coming in, No Rahsaan will not be in at 8:30am or Sarah txt me she is running late, they will just not be coming in ever. :-( Those desks and chairs will remain empty. Oh and Brad will be well confused lol, but thats normal not unusual lol.

I will miss you all and wish you the best in everything you do! xoxoxoxo

What the hell does structural change mean??

2009-03-31T19:07:00.000-07:00

So I went and got an MRI and the nurse who called me with the results was so clueless! She calls me and simply says its a "mild structural change" I say I don't kinow what that means, she says neither do I!! WTF! And they let you make the call?? So now I am left to wait for that answer till Monday that I go in and see the neuralagist, hopefully he is a little more bright then that chick. So anyway, you might say, I should be a little nervouse a little worried about it but I really am not. I'm more curiouse about finding out what "structural change" means I did the whole google thing and that did freak me out a little because of the results I got, so I stoped googling and will wait for the results from a professional on Monday. I can't live with fear of what if's in my life because if I did, I would not be alive.

Immigrants

2009-02-22T17:11:00.000-08:00

You know I try not to think about the immigration situation but everywhere you go you see it. I mean there is not one kitchen that does not have a Mexican in it, at least it seems like it to me. My family were immigrants my father came to the U.S looking for a better future for his family, and after so many years he questions if he made the right choice. I mean my father had lots of land in Mexico land that was passed down to him by my grandfather, he built my mother a house which they still own. Why did he decide to come to the U.S and bring all of us here? Well because I think he knew that there really was no future for us in Mexico. I am truly grateful to him for making the decision he did, I feel he was not thinking about himself but more about us, I mean really what would we do there? Get out of high school and get married? Uggh no thanks! I don't think many people understand why Mexicans or any immigrant for that matter want to come to the U.S.A. well mainly because its the land of opportunity, opportunity to be someone, do something with your life, other then get married and have children, and then struggle to feed your family because of the lack of jobs. I have family that are living here illegally and they work so hard to try and provide for their family. I mean my uncle, when he gets laid off and is struggling, he drives around looks for scrap metal and does little side jobs to try and provide for his family. You might say like well go look for another job, well its not that easy for an immigrant to do that. Can you imagine, times get so hard for people who are citizen and can't find a job with papers, now can you imagine how much harder it is for an immigrant? Well this is also where employers take advantage of that, a citizen will not work for no $4.00 an hr hard labor job, well an immigrant will. Why cause they know that their chances are very slim to get a job anywhere. So who is to blame here? Who should you hate here or be mad at? The immigrant or the employer? It's pretty sad cause you have people who are lazy and just don't want to work and just like to live off the system, and yet they bitch about immigrant taking their jobs, jobs they don't even care for. Whatever. This is a very hard thing for people like me who have family who they see struggling every day to make it, and then know people here hate them and want them out of this country. Wasn't some of this land taken from others?? Yea I think so.

Will you still love me??

2009-02-21T17:34:00.000-08:00

My dear friend made a very good post today on her blog lonely lesbian and well this speaks to not only a homosexual relationship but also applies for heterosexual relationships also. I mean when your looking for that someone to be able to spend the rest of your life with what is it that your looking for? Are they beautiful? Are they good in bed? Do they know how to cook? There are soo many things that can help us in determining "The One" but I think you when your asking yourself these questions your should throw this one out there too. If the looks, sex, cooking is no more will I still want to be with this person? FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE? Yea, cause the look change, the sex yes it changes and the cooking well normally I think if your a good cooker that doesn't change but you shouldn't commit cause of that lol. Anyway get my point? Once those superficial things are gone, will the love still be there? Will you still want to be with that person for the rest of your life? The answer better be yes, or your in big trouble! And even though I will be the first to admit sex does have a big impact on your relationship it is not by any means the rock of the relationship. So iamfiction I think your quest to find love is being driven by the right things! Don't give up and one day you will find that someone. Sorry cutting it short running out of time lol. Laters!

Focus! Focus!

2009-02-17T19:16:00.000-08:00

I seemed to have a hard time focusing today. To many thoughts in my head. It's like I want to do soo much but can't find the time to do it. OH yea and on top of wanting to do so much, I want to have time to play too. Yea I know I'm dreaming. OH yes and speaking of focusing, Naz Naz Naz lol. Girly you need to stay off those meds during work hrs, cause next time I think your head is going to hit the table chica. Sorry that was just another one of my random thoughts. I feel so distracted by everything, maybe this is how it feels to have ADD. I can't post anything else, its going to keep getting worse and worse, I think I will end it now. :-) I'm gonna make a note to myself to ask Sumer for that Acai Energy pill, she said it helps focus, I wonder if it works. I'll let you all know after tomorrow. Goodnight!

Gray Hairs

2009-02-15T15:43:00.000-08:00

I look at myself in the mirror as I am approaching my 34th birthday, I look at my hair and cannot believe all the white hairs I have!! But the funny thing is I don't feel old at all. I honestly feel very young at heart. Yes my body might say otherwise but my heart and soul still feel young. I still love all the things I did when I was younger. I love to dance! I love to hang out with my friends! Course I don't do these things as often as I would like since our lives do change and so do our priorities. I mean now I have 2 beautiful children I have to tend to and a husband who is like my 3rd child. :-) And I love them all very much and well THEY are my life now. But I think its important to remember who we are and to remember the things WE enjoy, cause I believe when you start forgetting the things that make you smile and laugh well that's when you begin to see yourself age. I can understand however how it can be hard to keep smiling and begin to feel sad about aging. I mean geez everywhere you look you see all of these beautiful young girls with their skinny little bodies, no stretch marks from having babies, flat bellies and well its hard to not think that your husband is checking them out or worse comparing you ugghh! *bad thought* oook soo.. Gotta keep thinking positive thoughts and well it also takes some sacrificing on your part too, I mean I try and stay active to try and keep them pounds off and well stay in as much shape as I can with the little time I do have for myself. But the most important thing I think time has taught me is to never ever compare yourself with anyone else! I had my time, I enjoyed it and I would not change a thing about it. If I sat and thought and compared my body with these young woman, I would be the most depressed old raggedy woman there exist! So I just have to remember that I have been there done that and now I am who I am and have a wonderful husband who loves me for me and not my body! (that's for sure) And yes I'm getting older but I am also getting wiser. :-)

And yes my post will most likely be this random and all over the place, so if you plan on following get use to the roller coaster of a little bit of everything and nothing at the same time. Hasta Luego!

Oh yea I'm debating, should I color my hair to cover my greys? or should I let nature takes it's course?

p.s.s oh yea and if my 2 copy friends are reading this they are probably having a heart attach right now! Witting is not my strongest points. lol