Things that run through my head

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Gen X
The Gen X are the new generation of reencarnated souls that are tired of the violence, and are trying to make the world a better place. He/She/It since we have all lived past lives where we might of been a man, women, pet? It makes sense doesn't it? Why put a label on anyone? We should not have to select one or the other sicne the majority have lived as both? 

Thoughts on what is happening to our planet right now?
The planet is shifting, it's ridding of all the bad energy or low frequency vibraion so that the world can be a at a higher vibration, positive energy. 

Other random thoughts 

Is there really more bad then good in this world? 
It's not that there are more bad people in this world then good ones, it's that the bad ones always try and make more noise, they are louder then the good ones. Acts of kindness usually go unnoticed, or are done not to please men, it's done to please the soul. 

We need to change the way we view death 
Talking about death should not be a negative thing. Should be taught and seen a a part of life not as a bad thing. Maybe this would help us to be better people while we are here. I myself, am not afraid of dying. I don't think ever have been, and now, now that I have lost people that meant so much to me, I'm less afraid and I am ready whenever that day might come, because I know that this is not it, there is something so much better waiting for us. We are here to learn, what you might say? Not sure, might be something that in the last life you didn't learn. Something that is needed so that our soul can grow. I'm not sure what my lesson is, but I'm trying really hard to just live in the moment, love those around me and be better person then I was yesterday. I'm hoping that while I do that, I have my aha! moment and that reason is revealed to me. 

Life after a Suicide 
Guilt. Guilt from both sides. Forgiving those who left, and accepting that we don't have control. A Constant Battle. You become mentally exhausted. Fighting each and every day, the thoughts. The what if's. The how did I not know. The last conversation. The things said, the things not said. Wanting to blame someone, yourself. The emptiness. The numbness. The longing to see them, here them, hug them again. The sadness. 

Appreciation. You begin to view life through a different lens. Watching the sunset is now a lot more beautiful, meaningful then it was before. It now means something. First, my God (my creator) he did that. It becomes a reminder of the beautiful things that still remain here that I have to look forward to. It's a reminder that I have made it through another day. I appreciate the smallest things. I appreciate nature more. Moments alone. The silence. The people that love me. I can say that all my life, I have been someone who appreciates and loves the little things. A hand written card. I will keep these. I have boxes full of little things, from many people through out the years.
Don't think. I know what I'm doing. I know I keep myself moving, busy all the time, so I don't have to think. Specially when I miss him. Am I trying to avoid my feelings? Yea, I think so, I'm trying to not feel that emptiness, pain of not having him here. So I try and focus on what I have. My daughter, my husband, my family, my close friends. Making them happy. Seeing everyone around me ok. If they are ok. I'll be ok. I can only carry my sadness, my pain. I don't want anyone else to feel how I feel.

Signs. Are they my imagination. Am I making them up so I can feel better. Maybe. If it keeps me pushing forward, does it matter? If it's what helps me to say, yes, he has not left, he is still here, along with my God who I feel continuously gives me signs to remind me that he is here with me and that I can do this because through him anything is possible. I will continue to take them as signs, so that I can get through the time I am here without him. Anyone else can take it or leave it. It doesn't matter to me. It doesn't effect me.

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