Just got off the phone with my aunt in Mexico who has breast cancer. Its so hard to stay positive and try and be strong for her. It seems so much health and money issues surround my family and some friends, that I can't help sometimes but to silently cry, and feel sad for them. I have always thought of myself as a strong person and I never really have liked to let ppl see me cry or down. It makes me feel weak and helpless. I hate that feeling. But to hear family member after family member suffering from sicknesses and money issues, I can't help it. It brings me down, makes me want to go curl myself into a ball and just cry. I want to help, I want to help them all. Then guilt sets in, am I doing what I can for them? Am I giving what I can? Am I really trying to help? Its too much! I can't, I have to stay strong, keep thinking about my kids, myself and making sure we are all ok, and good and not in the situation that they are in, because if I let that happen then I can't help anyone, not even myself.
How I wish I was rich to help them all from the situations they are in. But I'm far from it. All I can do is pray for them, and do what is within my reach to help them. Uggg I hate this feeling, I have been there before, plenty of times when I was younger, I don't wanna go there every again. I can't, I have my little ones I have to be there for.
0 comments:
Post a Comment